'As children develop, their brains 'mirror' their parent's brain. In other words, the parent's own growth and development, or lack of those, impact the child's brain. As parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move toward health as well. That means that integrating and cultivating your own brain is one of the most loving and generous gifts you can give your children.'
The Whole Brain Child - Siegel & Bryson
It is a hard-hitting realisation that we are one of the main sources for our children's healthful brain development. It is loaded with so much responsibility but also so much potential. It is true that children are our spiritual teachers, since they provide us with so much instantaneous feedback about what we can do better as human beings. This can be raw and intense, but can also act as a springboard for change.
This idea made me reflect on the process of change as a parent and what this involves. Well, change usually involves some discomfort, since we are pushed beyond our comfort-zone of existence. Also mentally it can be described as 'cognitive dissonance', where our mental belief system is challenged, and we enter that territory of feeling uncomfortable about an idea. We have all felt that right?
Physical change is uncomfortable; that goes without saying really! Building muscular strength requires micro-tears in the muscle and then subsequent repair, extending our cardiovascular endurance can be very challenging, and flexibility requires commitment and the feeling of discomfort. We are also aware of myriad techniques that exist to create change - such as the cold-plungers, who endure the near freezing water for the hailed benefits, both mental and physical.
So what are we doing as parent to 'integrate and cultivate' our own brains? Whether it be physical or mental? How are we sitting through discomfort to break the confines and restrictions of our self- imposed limitations? What is your 'ritualised discomfort' or 'scheduled suffering'? It may be meditation, in which we push our ability of self-correction and self-discipline. Perhaps regular exercise during which we are pushed to physical limits? Even breathing exercises?
By regularly exposing ourselves to the uncomfortable, we become better equipped to deal with the more challenging experiences that life may throw our way on our parenting journey or otherwise. We need to train to be able to sit through life's challenges and to build resilience. And by integrating and cultivating our own brains through activities that create change we are, through 'mirror neurons', gifting those attributes to our own children. This is undeniably a superpower!
I would love to hear how you ritualise your discomfort for the purpose of creating change and how this adds new and improved dimensions to your own life and therefore the life of your children.
Link to purchase book: 'The Whole Brain Child' by Siegel & Bryson
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