'Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.'
John W. Whitehead
Gaining an understanding of how our minds work enables us to begin to appreciate how and why we behave and react to external stimuli in the way that we do. Even further, it makes us ponder the extent to which we as parents are responsible for the ‘programming’ of our children’s minds, and their resulting lifelong mindsets.
Our responsibility to understand this process is pivotal, if we are to raise human beings that are of a healthful mindset, which in itself translates into a tangible improvement in the world around us. It is as though as parents we have the ability to contribute to significant and much needed change in the world through the children that we raise.
As John W. Whitehead said, ‘Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.’
To understand the human mind, it is most useful to think of it in terms of the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind – all of which are interrelated. Sigmund Freud, who made this concept popular, compared the relationship of these three aspects of the mind to an iceberg:
Conscious mind (or the ego)
This is seen as the tip of the iceberg, and it is our rational mind. These are the mental processes over which we exercise free will. It only occupies about 10% of the brains capacity. It is the concept we have of ‘self’ and the voice of our thoughts.
Subconscious mind (or the preconscious)
The subconscious mind dwells just below the level of consciousness. In contrast to the unconscious mind, the subconscious thoughts and feelings can be easily brought to consciousness.
Unconscious mind
The unconscious mind determines our beliefs, habits and behaviours. This aspect of the mind is, according to Freud, the most important determining factor of human behaviour. It stores our memories and past experiences.
The subconscious and unconscious minds together make up 90% of our brains capacity and form the predominant submerged part of the iceberg.
How the three aspects of the mind are related
The unconscious mind communicates to your conscious mind through your subconscious. These three facets of the mind together create our perception of reality. As we can now see how these three aspects of the mind are intrinsically linked, it makes us question how our subconscious and unconscious minds are programmed. They are, after all, effectively determining our perceptions of the world and therefore creating our reality.
In fact, Dr Bruce Lipton in his book The Biology of Belief, explains that the subconscious mind processes some 20,000,000 environmental stimuli per second compared to the 40 environmental stimuli processed by the conscious mind in the same second.
Programming the subconscious and unconscious minds
The effect of programming our subconscious mind cannot be overstated. This program effects all aspects of our life - our beliefs, our limitations, and even our physiology and health. Once the subconscious is hardwired it remains, unless we can devise ways of rewiring it. In order to understand when and how the subconscious and unconscious mind is programmed, we need to look at the brain state of children up to the formation of the conscious mind.
The human brain, is designed to download a huge quantity of information in the early years of life to ensure rapid learning for survival. This information is downloaded into the subconscious and unconscious minds. At various stages of a child’s development it has been observed that different brain wave activity predominates. Lets look at each stage:
Birth – 2 years
Delta Waves predominate. They have the slowest EEG activity (0.5 – 4 Hz).
Around 2 – 6 years
The child begins to spend more time in the Theta state (4-8Hz). This brain wave state is experienced by adults when they are drifting off to sleep, and in very deep relaxation. During 2 - 6 years of age, children are living in a world of imagination.
Around 6 – 12 years
There is an increased presence of Alpha waves (8-12 Hz). Here there begins a reduction in outside programming, and there is a formation of the analytical mind.
12 years and beyond
Here there is an increase in the periods of Beta waves (12-35 Hz). The Beta waves represent conscious, analytical thinking. It is by the time the child reaches adolescence that the subconscious mind is filled with the information necessary for survival, to all the self perceptions and beliefs they will carry with themselves into adulthood.
During the period of birth to around 6 years children are able to download a phenomenal quantity of information about the environment around them. Hypnotherapists aim to get people into the Delta or Theta brain wave state because of their increased suggestibility. Children form birth to around 6 years old, effectively absorb, in an unfiltered manner, the beliefs and behaviour of those in their environment, most frequently the parents. It is as though they are in a hypnotic state, hardwiring the suggestions and behaviours of those around them into their brains as though they are truths. After the age of 12 the flow of information from the conscious mind to the subconscious draws to an end.
As a parent myself, on reading this I felt that I had come across one of the most pivotal and fundamentally important pieces of information on parenting – we are effectively programming the minds of our children, we are in effect responsible for the beliefs, habits, and self perceptions of our children. What an incredibly powerful yet daunting acknowledgement. As parents we are in a situation of immense power. We are able to strongly influence - through our suggestions,behaviours and attitudes towards our children - what adults they will become. We can then let our imaginations run wild as to the potential we hold. If we are able to parent consciously, we could in effect change the world one child at a time.
References:
McLeod, S. A. (2015). Unconscious Mind. Retrieved from www.simplypsychology.org/unconscious-mind.html
Dispenza, Joe. D.C., Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One (Hay House Publishing, 2012).
Lipton, Bruce, Ph.D., The Biology of Belief (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2009)
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